take my heart and break it

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 19:54:39 GMT

well today sucked. i ran outta weed and i have no more moeny for any more and of course he didnt call. why does he always do this to me?and of course my parents have to yell at me for crying. no one understands. i cant wait till im fucking 18. i can move out and deal with anyone. im gonna get a tattoo of a fairy and hopefully some major piercige.

YAYY

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 01:56:45 GMT

MSI IS COMING HERE!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME TO ROLLLLL OUT IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!! IM GONNNEEEEE

YEAH YEAH YEAH MSI!!!!!

tricked me once
shame on you
tricked me twice
shame on me
took advantage of my simple mind
fuck you no wait uh fuck me
-MSI :):):)

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 16:58:32 GMT

i cant do it anymore. look what iv become

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 23:00:08 GMT

So many words for the broken heart
It’s hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me...

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are
There’s something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze
Guilty roads to an endless love
There’s no control
Are you with me now
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are
There’s something missing in my heart

There’s nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body and soul
How can it be you’re asking me to feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can’t be there where you are
There’s something missing in my heart

i hate you but i love you, stop doing this to me. i need some fucking acid.

today....

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 01:06:59 GMT

this is such a catchy song. FUCK YOU MAN. its in a way my theme song for the day so yeah today was ok, except for the morning. I mean listen to this, i get up make breakfest and then get in the bathroom next thing i kno she's screaming at me "crystal you take too fuckin long in the bathroom" i was only in there a half a fucking hour. ughhhh i just don't know sometimes, i can;t wait til next year, i going to not go to college i desided, i want to get an apartment with my boyfriend. yeah and we can just drop acid, smoke, and have sex all day long. it sounds like heaven to me. i can't fuckin weight. seriouly just thinking about it turns me on. i think im going to call him, see what hes doing, ya know just chat. i like to "just" talk. i feel a better connection to people when we talk rather than just "hang" out. o well im going now.

sincerely,
fairy

THE END

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 21:20:58 GMT

I HATE VALENTINES DAY.

I HATE YOU.

I HATE ME.

GOODNIGHT.

DONT THINK I WONT DO IT THIS TIME.

THIS IS IT.

GOODBYE.

HURT

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 18:59:30 GMT

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear my crown of shit
On my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 18:22:26 GMT

i love him soo much why won't he love me back? whenever he comes home for breaks he always says he loves me and were gonna be together but then he goes back and ignores me. my friends say he using me as a fuck buddy but HES NOT WERE IN LOVE. next year we will be together cause im gonna go to his college hopefully if i get accepted. maybe we'll even get married.

Valentine's Day...
what a pathetic holiday...
it's nothing but a hallmark holiday...
don't you think?...
its for when you believe in love...
when you know at the end of the story there's a happy ending...
but we all know it isnt true...
so, why do we celebrate valentine's day?...

im sorry

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 00:46:18 GMT

sorry for that last enerty, all, but thats just how ive been feeling lately ever since he who shall not be named broke my heart, it isnt the same, can anyone relate??/ i love him so much and ill never get over him, i just need to express my feelings and write it down in a safe place. people say that this isn;t safe but i feel as if people take their time to look at this than they must care, meaning only people i care about me are reading. please some on sooth my cry for help. its so dark in here. i hate being in my skin. i need some fuckin heroin, but i can't get any til sun because i have some one working on that right now.

"now i got the needle i can shake but i can't breath i take it away but i want more and more one day im gonna lose the war" ~great song one of the only songs that speak to me

OMG I CAnR STAND THEM ANY MORe. she always ask me to do this and do that clean your room, walk the dog, and she'll yell at me if i tell her to hold on. i don't love her. i hate the yelling when will this stop i can't wait til the fucking summer when i get my own apartment. please save me from her.

so anyways for the most part don't worry about me ill be fine even though ill cry and cut til i feel better but thats healthy its a way to relieve pain.

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 00:10:47 GMT

i hate myself i cant stand it no one understands me. GOD